From F*ck-Up to Fortune: Seattle’s New Success Story 💸

Listen up, assholes. I lost about a third of the fucking tip of my finger today. 🩸 Yeah, it’s throbbing like a motherfucker. Yeah, I’m still standing. But you wanna know what stings worse than that? If I still had the insurance I had before the city shoved me out the door like yesterday’s trash, I’d be getting stitches at the damn hospital instead of jerry-rigging my finger with paper towels, colorful cuss words, and a pitiful trip to Urgent Care.

See, I didn’t quit — they forced me out. Put me on unpaid leave so long I might as well have been dead to them. Left me with garbage insurance and a bank account that looks like a barren wasteland 💀. They knew their mandate was bullshit, but God forbid they admit it. Instead, they played the slow-starve game. Couldn’t fire me outright ’cause that’d bite ’em in the ass — so they just drained me dry. No retirement access until I was fully separated. Classic, coward-ass move.

YO, Boo-fucking-hoo. We’ve ALL been through this circus. Same sorry shit, every damn time, every damn place. Cheese and rice, were you born wrapped in fucking bubble wrap and pathetically sensitive or just allergic to accountability? What the hell are these sue-happy dipshits thinking? Don’t they realize there’s a fucking mountain of dirt swirling around just waiting to blow the hell up?

Trust me— So. Much. Dirt. It’s absurd. Who was hopping county lines to hook up with chippies? Who was running interference so chippies wouldn’t trip over each other at the precinct? One too many cop parties, and someone’s running down I-5 in their underwear? Or the canoe who whipped his dick out for a photo at the Red Door?

And yeah, that ‘secret sex club’ everyone whispers about? I know who’s in it, not what goes down. That’s off-limits for me. Nooooooo thank you.

Here’s the deal: SEATTLE TAXPAYERS SHOULD NOT PAY ONE FUCKING DIME FOR THIS GARBAGE. Every damn day, some sorry bastard with a sketchy-ass past walks away with a fat-ass million-dollar payout. Are we fucking holding raffles or what? 🎟️ People who’d be fired on day one in any normal job are cashing checks bigger than most people see in their lifetimes.

Case in point: the woman who left her rifle on the back of her patrol car just got $3 million for “discrimination.” 🤯 What the actual fuck? She’s gotta have a black book stuffed with dirt, ’cause she ain’t no saint. Ask anyone who dares to talk — up in SAU she was as rude and nasty as the worst of them, and shit on most women except a tiny few favorites.

So how the hell are we deciding who got “screwed the worst” over the vax? Are we going by “In-group” status? Sex? Favors owed? Who’s banging who? How much dirt do they have on you?” Seriously, how do you decide? We all had the same paperwork with limited characters. We all got approved and then we all got denied. Our stories are virtually the same. 💰 You dry fucked us with a cactus. 🌵 (I am sooooooo not sorry for my language and tone)

For those of us who actually played by the rules (okay, except for refusing to shut the hell up), we get jack shit. Zero. Nada. 🙅‍♀️

Meanwhile, the suing list is longer than a Costco receipt on a shopping spree. And let’s be real — plenty on that list have enough skeletons in their closets to flip their discrimination claims on their heads. But in this town of moral bankruptcies 🤑, blackmail is a damn currency.

Seriously…Who the fuck do you think you are? An Assistant Chief is an appointed position. You didn’t take a test to get there — they plopped you there ’cause they wanted to (none of us could figure out why, but whatever). And they can yank you out anytime they feel like it — like they did. But, don’t get it twisted: swapping you out for a LT is bullshit. But again, they DGAF. You’re throwing a temper tantrum ’cause you lost your seat. A seat with power. There were quite a few before you - who were way more competent - who took the hit without suing. But, you just can’t handle it. The loss of power drives you NUTS.

And most of you sue-happy assclowns? News flash — you’re not entitled to shit. I know it. You know it. Hell, one of you suing — “what’s up, big fella?” (Yeah, as you prop up your leg.)

Here’s the brutal truth: the only real lawsuits are the vax mandate ones — and those are the ones they are shitting on the hardest. I suspect it’s because it’s a BIG FUCKING DEAL. The city royally violated Federal Law - go figure. These people are victims; Everyone else? None of you are innocent. No one. Not you, not me. No one. The bigger the fuck-up, the bigger the paycheck.

So yeah, I’m pissed. Punished for standing my ground, forced into financial ruin, left uninsured, and now bleeding all over my damn kitchen because I dared to say “no” to their bullshit.

If I’d known scoring a seven-figure payday was just about being a colossal screw-up with the right dirt on the right people? I’d have been out there dropping rifles and working that sob story like a pro.

But nah — I kept my integrity.
Turns out in this cesspool of a city, that’s worth absolutely fucking nothing. 🚫 LIARS. FRAUDS. CON ARTISTS. From the top all the way down.

I could hide behind anonymity, but I own my shit — But in case you’re wondering, “NO - I’m not suing anyone.”

Yes, I’m in a lot of pain.

No, I don’t care if you’re offended.

Yes, I am on a roll because someone else in my orbit is on one too.

No, I don’t care if you can’t handle the truth—- And I REALLY don’t care if you’re freaking out because you know I’m talking about YOU. 🥴